This post actually should have been my post of the day for Sunday.
Life hasn’t exactly been normal this past year. I’m still dealing with some grief over my father’s death, I gave birth to a beautiful baby (yes, I’m biased, but I challenge you to look at him and tell me otherwise), and I’ve been dealing with post-partum depression and anxiety. Add to that running a theatre company that is in its first year as a resident company of the Arts Court Theatre and putting our house up for sale (which has had its own pile of issues that I won’t get into), and it’s no wonder I haven’t been myself.
As I mentioned previously, Chris was out of town with the boys on the weekend. I kept busy and had a good day on Saturday, but Sunday I was feeling under the weather and lonely. Even though I’m not able to leave Nathan for a whole weekend yet, I kind of resented Chris for going. Not exactly rational or fair. He came home mid-afternoon and we didn’t really talk much. I was frustrated, and he steered clear of me. Later that night, after he returned from a meeting (for our upcoming show [boxhead]) we talked. I never realized how much things were affecting him – not only all the “social stressors”, but my mood and my anxiety. I’m disappointed to admit that I’ve been so caught up in how I’m feeling that I never gave a second thought to him and how he’s been feeling and the impact my PPD is having on him. It was a real wake-up call.
When you get married you’re always told the secrets or keys to a happy marriage. Communication is one that I’d taken for granted – I always thought we were good at it, but with so many changes in our world, it slipped. This was a good reminder that it’s something that needs to be continually worked on.
I’m grateful that we talked things out – it feels as though some pressure that I didn’t even know was there has been alleviated.